Sept. 26: Shortbread and Macaroons

I'm in a bad mood.

Or maybe I'm just out of sorts. I feel like I need to be recalibrated. Or something.

I've been short-tempered, mean-spirited and cranky. I've been experiencing mini-panic attacks. I haven't been eating right. I'm just not a very nice person these days. I took a picture of Christian today--and his expression looks just how I feel.

It could be just old-fashioned fatigue. I get up at the crack of Sammy every morning. I haven't slept past 6 a.m. since that little bugger came to stay. And I stay up until past 11 p.m. reading every night. That part is my own fault.

My husband and his mother are fighting. Which makes me worried, irritated, angry and mean. Especially when it comes to the two of them.

I haven't been exercising. And we are constantly having to discipline that dog and Ian. Together they are bad mojo.

Oh. And the only thing worse than watching the Huskies lose is knowing you just wasted an entire afternoon watching the Huskies lose. I actually stretched out on the couch--in my coat and shoes no less--to watch them lose to Notre Dame. I hate to lose to Notre Dame.

Maybe it's the weather. Summer took off. Left us overnight. One evening about two weeks ago, I knew it was the end. The boys and I took Sammy for a walk in the last warm night of the year. After Ian went home, Christian and I spun in circles in the park, looking up at the stars. I told him that we were standing on the very edge of summer. That the season was one breath away from changing. We held very still so we could feel autumn arriving on the faintest cool breeze. So we wished the summer sky goodnight. And summer blew away while we slept.

But fall brings boots and tights and plaid skirts. There are trade-offs.

There have been good things, too, though. Like laughing with Denise on the phone so hard that I cry. And having coffee with Renee. And shopping with Sam. And having lunch out with grown-ups during the week. And reading good books. And sitting in the sun while boys play soccer.

And book club! Last Monday I baked the Barefoot Contessa's coconut macaroons, Martha's shortbread and Auntie Karen's Harvey Wallbanger cake for the September meeting. I love book club. But I especially love it at someone else's house. Because my children don't live at someone else's house. They make book club very trying for me. But maybe I'm just cranky.

I'm wondering if I need to see a chiropractor. Am I carrying negative energy in my shoulders? Are my chakras f&#%*$? The Regence health club reopens on Monday. I need to get back into my exercise routine.

I need to do something to bust out of this funk. More cookies? More sleep? One less dog? Better attitude? Alchohol? Xanax?

Probably yes.