Umbrella Sugar Cookies: Dec. 5

Lame, lame, lame. I baked cookies on Dec. 5 and I'm just now posting this?

Tick, tick, tick....

That's the sound of December ticking away.

And this is a photo of my Grandpa Elmer's favorite clock. It hung in his den for years and years. Every Christmas Eve my sisters and I were banished to his den while the women washed dinner dishes. (My grandparents' 1930s house, while charming, didn't have many modern conveniences, like a dishwasher.) And while we waited impatiently to open presents, we watched this clock.

Now it hangs in my family room, and when I look at it I think about those Christmas Eves. I remember my sisters and me in our tights and Christmas dresses, hair all curled, so excited for CHRISTMAS!

Now that clock whispers to me, "You're running out of time! It's not all done!"

What a difference 30 years makes.

Those Decembers dragged by. These days, they're on a nuclear train going 750mph. It's been a busy month.

I baked cookies on Dec. 5 for my friend Shauna's baby shower. I learned something important that day: I hate meringue frosting. That shit leaked out of the pastry bag. It was runny. And it dried in a nasty, sticky mess all over me. And the counter. And the floor. And the cookies weren't nearly as cute as the photos in the book. Instead of umbrella details, I ended up with a blurry mess. But they tasted good and the shower was fun. So whatever.

I can say this about December 2009: It hasn't snowed. Too much. Thank. God. James and I actually sat out on the back porch tonight, and I realized I was barefoot and NOT freezing. Freaky. I keep thinking about last winter and how f&*^#@ that was. Shiver.

I'm close to being done with shopping. Just a few last-minute things. I'm ashamed to admit, though, that I didn't bake for the preschool bake sale. I contributed $4o for the raffle prize and seed money. Can you believe that? Kiki the Cookie Blogger paid off the preschool to avoid baking.

Okay, so I wasn't avoiding. I was busy. Too busy to bake. I got a lot to do, man! Geez. Get off my back.

But I think--hope--I'm in the home stretch. I actually went to a party tonight. With grown-ups. I ate good food and drank beer. I had to leave early because that's just how it often is with me. And, unless Jamey the Proxy barters my white elephant gift for something else, I'll end up with a High School Musical alarm clock.

On second thought, maybe "grown-ups" is stretching it a bit. Check out Girlfriend Linda in her party garb, posing in the Regence stairwell tonight. And this is before the alcohol. (And yes, those are lights.)

Got a lot to do still before December is over. There's the holiday craziness. And a flight to Palm Springs. And a trip to Disneyland, where we'll welcome in the new year. Tomorrow James and I go shopping for a new car (pray for me). And when I come home in January, James will stay in Palm Springs for a month. I'll be the Single Mom for a while.

You're probably wondering, dear reader, what will become of this blog when December is done. When the year is over, is my cookie project complete?

Are you out of your mind? Do you really think I baked all 42 recipes?

The clock is ticking away. There are still Christmas cookies to bake!

Oh, and I've decided: 2010 will be the Year of the Cake!

Nov. 28: Mint Chocolate Sandwiches

Looking back over November, I feel like a cookie/blogger failure. I baked ONCE last month. Do I get a pass for having hosted Thanksgiving dinner?

One brined turkey, two pumkin pies, a double batch of stuffing, one sweet potato casserole, 12 popovers, six pounds of potatoes, one pan of gravy and three kinds of appetizers. God, is that all? Seemed like so much more.

November was a busy month.

First off, the high point of November (after the Girlfriends Trip) was the return of the Pilgrim Family. For those of you who don't know: The Pilgrim Family is a very large (and, ah hem, tacky) Thanksgiving decoration that my mother-in-law paid too much for and then bestowed upon me in 2004 after it had suffered through several years of display and storage (and breakage) at her house. My good friend Denise decided it was HORRIBLE. So, of course, James and I left it on her front porch Thanksgiving Eve of 2004. With a "Will work for turkey" sign around Mr. Pilgrim's neck.

The Pilgrim Family has bounced between the Phillips and Higgins homes ever since, arriving each year on Thanksgiving Eve (usually in the dead of night) and always featuring a new and more original form of Pilgrim Desecration. This year it was our turn to get them back. They came bearing a political message--a reminder of the October night that Christian and I decorated Denise's front yard with political signs. (Not just any political signs, but signs for a candidate whose name was hilariously similar to Denise's name.)

Anyway, the Pilgrims are back with us now. Gotta remember to stuff them in storage for another year.

Also, I'm glad to report that I did NOT get laid off. But friends of mine did. And as a result, I now have a new boss. They start off so fresh and eager. It's a shame how we break them.

As I sit here typing (while my Farmville avatar plows my fields, multi-tasker that I am), I'm trying to think of the other things that happened over the past few weeks. But all I can think about is what lies ahead:

1. Baby shower on Sunday. I'm the hostess. That's five days away. I have a menu scratched down on a piece of paper. Oh, and I bought a gift. Yes, I'm a loser.
2. Christmas. Or as I prefer to think of it, Yule/Solstice/Midwinter. I'm in full-on shopping mode. Lists, lists, lists. Haven't started freaking out yet. That will occur about Dec. 16.
3. Which brings me to Dec. 16: The preschool bake sale. Which I'm coordinating. Ooh. I see a major cookie make-up opportunity. Get prepared for blog overload.
4. Palm Springs: Taking the kids for a week. After Christmas. With husband. And mother-in-law. And mother-in-law's dog. (Note: Refill Xanax prescription.)
5. Christmas decorating: How much to do this year? Leaving on Dec. 27. No stomach for ribbons and bows and sugarplums when we return in January. Thinking minimum is the word here. Lights on the ficus?
6. Snow. Hate it. Fear it. Dread it. See first entry nearly one year ago. It can seriously f%^& up items 1-4 above.

So, weren't we talking about cookies at some point? On Saturday I baked Chocolate Mint Sandwiches (pg. 284). The best thing about this recipe was that I only needed two ingredients at the store. They weren't great. Didn't love them. Boys are not fans of the mint. But the minty filling smelled soooo good. Like a Frango factory. Otherwise, so-so.

Mmmm. Frangos. 'Tis the season. I should buy some Frangos. I could put that on my iList. Which is only one of the features I LOVE on my new iPhone! And iLove to think of ways to twist the name: iCan. iRemember. iLookitUp. iCheckFacebookattheOffice. iDon't care if Apple takes over the world. Just think of how organized and prepared and efficient we'll all be.

Now. If I could just remember to put "bake cookies" in my iCalendar...