Tuesday, July 20, 2010

No Cakes, Just Houses

I have been baking. Cakes even. But due to circumstances beyond my control (summer, sinus infections, pneumonia, camping trips etc.), I just haven't had time to write.

But this week I found something new to write about when my mom and sister discovered something really cool on the Internet: property record photos! Ever since then we've been looking up addresses and inspecting snapshots of our personal history that live as .bmps and .jpgs out there on the King County government website.

I've been especially mesmerized by this one: a 1941 shot of my grandparents' farmhouse in North Seattle. Some stranger, known to us only by the corner of his thumb, holds it up like a real- estate specimen. To him it's just a photo, and documenting it is just a part of his job: providing proof that parcel number 2526039193 once existed. But to me, it's more than that. It's the house I've loved above all others.

Anyone who's ever loved a house knows that it's more than an address or tax parcel history. Everyone who's loved a house knows it tells a story.

If you look closely at this photo, you can see a weathervane at the top of the cupola. That weathervane is hanging right now above my office door, right here in the house I live in today. The big paned window: That looks into the living room where I celebrated the first 27 Christmas Eves of my life.

This photo was taken years before my grandparents owned the house--back when it belonged to the Frazier family. (But that's another story.) Long before the master bedroom was added on to the left-hand side and the den added on to the right. Before the apple trees in the front grew tall and gnarled. My dad and his brother and sister grew up here. My parents lived in the basement for the first six months of their marriage--right up to two months before I was born.

I grew up only a two-minute run away (yes, I timed it). My sisters and I thought of this house as just an extension of our own--running through without knocking, raiding the fridge for grapes and salami, plunking at the piano--and then tearing out again. My grandma used to wax the kitchen floor, then lay down a newspaper path to the hallway so we wouldn't smudge her work. In the pantry there was an old Hotspot fridge that had come from our other grandparents' house. It was full of extra food--much of which was stored in old cottage cheese containers.

My grandparents had added onto the house when they bought it, so if you knew to look, you could see the seams where the original house ended and the new house began. The basement flooded most winters. It was easy to lock yourself into the hall bathroom (my great-grandma did that during a party and wasn't found until someone realized she was missing). My dad once saw a lightening bolt come in the living room window and go out the dining room. And the front door stuck. Which was why we never used it.

My grandpa would whitewash one side of the house every summer so that every year at least once side was bright and white. I was impressed with the Dutch front door and the formal front porch. I thought the outside pantry--with its creaky door--was a true mark of the house's age (although I never understood why we called it the outside pantry when it was the only one). All the doorknobs and hinges in the original part of the house were cast iron--and some were latches! In the summers, the house was dark, quiet and cool inside, in contrast to the hot, loud, bright outside, full of shouting sisters and crowing roosters. On every side the house was surrounded by trees--sycamores, apples, pines, dogwoods, chestnuts, plums and cherries.

When I got older, my grandma showed me where she hid the spare key (hung on a nail by a twisted bread tie, down low in a dark, wooden pantry cupboard, where, she claimed, a robber wouldn't think to look). She had me water plants and turn lights on and off when they were out of town. But sometimes I would use it just to let myself in and enjoy having the house all to myself.

When I close my eyes and think of this house I see the tea rose bush that grew outside the laundry room door. I see my grandma's spinning clothesline in the backyard. I see knotty pine paneling and long hallways. A pale yellow kitchen. Flowers. Chickens. Lilacs.

In July 1995, my sister and I visited the house for the last time--at dusk on the day before the bulldozers came to tear it down. It was owned by strangers by then--people who saw not its charm, but the money they planned to make through subdivision. Sam pried the weathervane off the roof for me. And then we carved our initials on the side of the house, right there on the front porch. I felt that while we were saying goodbye to the house, it was also saying goodbye to us.

But I haven't said goodbye yet to all the houses I've loved. Like parcel number 1124000105.

Also known as the house I grew up in.

"We" moved in in January 1968. I wasn't yet born, but I was close.

That spring, at the base of a tree in the front yard, a clump of daffodils bloomed. Those daffodils still bloom every March. Even though the tree is gone and my dad once poured gasoline there to kill blackberry bushes.

The jeep in the driveway in this circa mid-'80s photo was my dad's. It was bright red with a kickass stereo. We girls rode on jumpseats in the back. The gable above the driveway was my sister Laura's room. My dad added it on in the early '80s when Laura and Sam grew too old to share a room. That's actually a nice way of saying they were too close to killing each other. The new room was a relief for the entire family.

My dad also built the screen that blocks the living room window from the street. (That was the same year he planted the bamboo, which my mom still curses him for.) Before the screen was there, my mom would paint a Christmas scene every year on the big window. When I was little, I was the star of each of those paintings.

Once, when we were older, we told our cousin Charlie that there was no way he could throw a football into the chimney from the front lawn. He took one shot. And made it. We were stunned for several seconds before we ran yelling into the house. My grandpa ended up having to make a special Nerf football harpoon to get it out.

The house is on a corner, at the bottom of a hill. When it snowed, we had a great view of the people who thought they could make it to the top without chains or four-wheel drive.

When I think of this house, I think of Christmas mornings, new babies, puppies and kittens. I think of apple pies, chocolate chip cookies and hot raspberry jam. Summer evenings, Sunday night baths, and water fights.

Speaking of which, my mom once climbed onto the roof with the hose to surprise neighbor boys on the attack. And on another occasion, a running hose even crept into the kitchen window to surprise my mom and a friend with a cold shower while they sat at the kitchen table. Although I won't cop to doing it.

My parents raised three of us in this house. The fourth bedroom and the laundry room were added fairly late in the game. It still has only one bathroom. But our increasing heights--and the heights of many friends, old and young--are etched on the kitchen doorway. Finally, small houses have one great advantage: the hallways are narrow enough for children to scale, arms and legs splayed, with one foot on each wall.

Today, grandchildren know this parcel as "DoDo's House," a place where ice cream is served for dinner and shoes are optional. It's a house that recognizes the family it helped raise. While my greatest regret about my grandparents' farmhouse is that my children will know it only from photos, I'm glad that my mom's house is the one they'll remember with laughter long after it's gone. Which is a good thing, since my kids' other grandma lives in a retirement home (City of Bellevue parcel number 1544600102).

I was fortunate to have two grandmas' houses when I was growing up. My other grandparents' house, parcel number 2044500230, was unique because my grandpa transformed it from a small bungalow into a multistory house all by himself. It's The House that Grandpa Built

That's his El Camino parked out front. Yellow with brown faux wood paneling, it was just one in a long string of cars my Grandpa Russ owned. But he didn't just own cars, he marked his life by them. Each event in his life was tagged in his memory by which car he owned at the time.

Up the driveway and out of sight in this photo is the detached garage where he worked on all his cars. And all ours. And his friends'. And his neighbors'. And so on. When I was little I was convinced I would grow up to marry a mechanic because I thought the smell of an automotive garage was the best smell in the world.

My grandparents, my aunt and my mom lived for awhile in that garage while Grandpa was building the house. My Grandma VeVe lives there still at age 92 (in the house, not the garage). And she still tells us to be careful when going down those front steps to the street ("they're steep and can get slippery when they're wet"). We used to love to swing ourselves around that pole there at the corner of the porch. And my mom still paints a Christmas scene on the corner window on the left.

My grandpa didn't believe in wasting space. My grandma's house is still the only one I personally know that has a sauna. And once he decided they needed a hot tub. So he installed one off the back porch and put in a custom door in the hallway so you could go from the bathroom to the hot tub without having to go through the kitchen or basement doors. He didn't want us girls to get chilled. For impromptu hot tub sessions, I would borrow a one-piece suit from Grandma that I swear was vintage 1940s. It was actually made from gold tapestry material. With brocade.

My fair-skinned grandmother would spend the hottest days of summer in the basement, where my grandpa had a woodshop (wood shavings are the second-best smell in the world, followed by Ford Mustang interiors, Corvette exhaust and hot raspberry jam). My cousin Heidi and I used to have sleepovers, staying often in the upstairs room with the long paneled closet and floral bedcover. Grandchildren loved this house because it had nooks, crannies, hidey-holes and roofs to climb.

We still manage to cram all of us into VeVe's house for Christmas breakfast. We have to crawl all over each other and eat at the table in shifts, but it's worth it. And when we all drive away, we still wave at Grandma in the corner window on the right, whether she's there watching or not. Just because that's what we've always done.

My family loves to get together. Not constantly, but enough that we don't become strangers. Holidays. Birthdays. Showers. Graduations. That kind of thing. And the house where we've done the most getting together is my Auntie Karen's house, parcel number 1980200105.

It's not huge, but it was built in the early 20th century for entertaining. The bedrooms are small, but the formal areas are large. Sunken living room, big dining room, kitchen built for a small cooking staff. And it's Family Central, planted square in North Seattle, with the prestigious address of "just outside The Highlands."

Four generations have hunted Easter eggs all around it. In fact, each spring, we crowd more and more kids onto that front porch for the annual Bunny Ears Photo. Auntie Karen has hosted baby showers, graduation parties, birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, New Years, Easters, Apple Cups, 90th birthday parties, going-away parties. Oh, and wedding showers and funeral receptions.

But it's also a family house. I remember my cousin Charlie (again with the football) breaking a pane at the top of the vaulted living room window. A bat invated Heidi's room one night while she was sleeping. I think she's still suffering from the trauma. Teenagers have snuck out of it and back into it. Uncle Jack discovered hidden rooms buried under it. It even came with its own ghost.

Tall and stately, this house has sheltered, fed, observed and welcomed us for 40 years. Everyone in North Seattle knows "the pretty house with the big yard on 145th." We're just the lucky ones who get to pull into the driveway and make ourselves at home for a few hours several times a year.

So, these are the houses I've loved. But what about the one I live in, parcel number 8857640820? My house doesn't have the history of all the others. No orchards or rolling lawns. No nooks. No crannies. No ghosts (I hope). But I do hope that the spirit of the other houses I've known are here. My grandparents' weathervane hangs on my wall. And I like to think that my grandpa's gardens inspired the lilacs, roses and columbines I grow. Santa now visits my chimney instead of my mom's, and I hope my kids remember those mornings like I remember my childhood Christmases. Every year I make raspberry jam, partly in the hopes that my boys will associate my kitchen with good, warm smells. I want my house to be gracious and welcoming like the homes that have welcomed me over the years. I hope that someday someone looks at this photo and feels what I feel when I look at all the others that came before it.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Holy Crap it's April

Shhhhh. I’m writing this at work.

And I know. You haven’t heard from me in months. I’ve sunk to the lowest levels of lameness. In fact, to rise to the level of just plain lame would be an improvement.

I have baked a cake in the past two months. In fact, I’ve baked two. But I have no excuse for not blogging. It's been so long, blogspot.com is no longer in my recent browser history. I'm surprised I remembered my password.

I know. You’ve heard it all before. So I’ll just jump into it.

The Red Velvet Cake (Rose’s Heavenly Cakes) tasted really good. Light, rich, moist. If the entire tube of red food coloring didn’t make it a 9 x 9” carcinogen, I’d make it again. Although, it did sink a bit in the middle. Which was embarrassing. I don’t know who I think I’m out to impress. My family didn’t care what it looked like. And despite the big sag, it sure was a purty color red.

For cake #2, I baked a honey-almond cake for Easter. But that wasn’t from Rose’s book. So that’s all I’ll say about that.

I do, however, want to mention that my blog has actually been used for baking support! Holy cow. Even I was shocked. Cousin Tina was baking Martha Stewart’s peanut butter cookies recently and thought that the baking time shown in the recipe was kind of long. So she thought “I’ll check the blog!” Sure enough, she found what she was looking for. My blog has provided a service. I’m humbled.

So, what, you may be asking yourself, has Kiki been up to lately? If she hasn’t been baking (much) or blogging (at all), what has been keeping her busy? I won’t bore you with the details. Not to mention I probably couldn’t remember everything if I tried. But I can hit the high points by touching on a few things I’ve learned in the past couple of months:

1. If a car wheel makes a spinning metal sound that gets worse over time, it’s probably best to stop driving it before the wheel falls off.
2. “Polyclitoral” is not a word after all. And when you Google it, it’s best to do so at home, not at work.
3. Don’t leave your iPhone sitting around the office when you’re not there. You coworkers will use it. And take photos of themselves with it.

But mostly I want to hit some of the high points of the past few months. Favorite moments, if you please:

1. Al meeting Dave Matthews at Greenlake! OMG! WTH? Where was I??? Okay, so the fact that I haven't actually BEEN to Greenlake in about 15 years is irrelevant. I deserve to meet Dave. Although, most of you know that I'm such a wimp that I probably would have turned and ran.

2. Palm Springs with Sam. So. Much. Fun! Shopping; ridiculing others; sharing iPhone apps with Dad; mocking The Bachelor; trying on 4-inch-stiletto, size-11 tranny heels; cleaning the house; getting stripper nails...oh. And our infamous afternoon jog in 90-degree weather. Sam ended up getting foot surgery (unrelated situation) and I decided to keep my running to the indoors. But we are two hot, running babes. Just ask the Palm Desert Country Club gardening crews.

3. Getting raunchy photos on the iPhone. I swear I'm maturing backward. (And no, I'm posting these on the blog. Sorry. You'll have to call me about those.)

4. Watching SNL with my children and husband on Sunday mornings. Ian can quote Weekend Update (just ask him about Tiger Woods' car accident).

5. Having Denise working next to me for two months. It was like old times! Tossing word meanings back and forth, consulting on grammar and style, shopping, lunching, researching the meanings of disgusting sexual acts. It's been such a treat. Ah, but now she's off to work for MultiCare in Tacoma. In a "business professional" environment. I bet there are no crank calls at MultiCare. I bet no one changes their clothes in their cubes there! I bet MultiCare employees don't relive the Schwetty Balls routine from SNL before lunch. How much fun could that possibly be? But in all sincerity, congratulations to Denise! I'm happy for her. And now it's back to changing my clothes without someone to guard the aisle. Sigh.

So, now I need to research my next cake. I'm contemplating a coconut cake that is so complicated that I'd need to make two separate, special ingredients for the frosting. That's four recipes for one cake (batter, frosting and two frosting components). Is that crazy? I've found that cakes are a big investment. What if I screw it up? That's a lot of dessert to toss in the garbage.

Maybe I have baker's anxiety. Which leads to writer's block. And that's not good for this blog. I enjoy writing these entries. I enjoy writing. Why don't I do it more often?

I'm going to think about that. Think about baking a cake. And I'll get back to you on that. I promise.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Feb. 7: Biscochitos

WHO DAT BAKING COOKIES FOR ME?

Dat is Mary the Cookie-Baker Proxy!
Our friends Jamey and Mary are New Orleans Saints Fans. When the Saints got in the Superbowl, they of course had to throw a drunken, gumbo-drenched party. I offered to bring Biscochitos (pg. 242) because they're baked in the shape of the fleur-de-lis. Unfortunately, James had his money on the Colts at the time, so I was forbidden to provide baking support to the enemy.

I'm smarter than my husband: I sent the recipe to Mary, and she baked them. In the end, we changed sides, the Saints won, the cookies were a hit, and we had a great time at the party! (I even got a fleur-de-lis cookie cutter out of the deal.)

I snapped an iPhone photo (have I mentioned how much I love that thing?) and promised Mary she'd make the blog. So, even though I haven't baked anything in weeks, I get to do a blog posting. Yay Mary! The cookies were fab and the party was beaucoup fun. But I'm not sure which part I liked best: watching the Saints win or witnessing Jamey dance on the ottoman, drunk off his ass.

So here we are in February already. One of the reasons I haven't been baking is that I've been hard up for cake recipes. I still owe a cake for this month. I've combed through my cookbooks and cooking magazines, but nothing speaks to me. I think, though, I may have found the solution: Rose's Heavenly Cakes, by Rose Levy Beranbaum, author of The Cake Bible.

Linda, Aubrey and I looked at every page, declared it Girl Porn and decided what I'd be baking in the coming months. So watch for that.

Meanwhile, life chugs along. Highlights of the past few weeks include:

1. My new status as "athlete." Yup. I'm a runner. And I'm going to run Green Lake before the end of summer. All 2.8 miles of it. I'm working up to that goal slowly. Don't want to get all runner-type, with the stringy body parts. I want to look like Salma Hayek, only running. Yeah, I know: Good luck with that.
2. Travel plans. Over the next few months, Sam and I are going to Palm Springs to retrieve my mother-in-law and visit our dad (and shop); James is going to Mexico to go fishing; James is going to Palm Springs to golf; I'm going to Portland for the Mohanathon (aka Mohani Gras); and Motorhome Season officially begins.
3. My new talent for making crepes. Couple of terms for you: All-Clad Griddle. Christmas Return. Williams-Sonoma. Shopping Orgy. I bought a crepe pan (among many other things), and my family is now intimately familiar with the splendors of the crepe. I'm pretty damn proud of myself.
4. Dare I say it--Denise is coming back to Regence! At least 2.5 days of the week. And temporarily. If the Regence Gods continue smiling, Girlfriend will come work with me as a part-time contractor. I get a real-life coworker! In the cube next to me! For the first time in like three years! I won't know what to do with myself. I'm pinching myself. Oh, and she's a really good writer and editor and will do a bang-up job. But that's beside the point.

So that almost sums it up. Unfortunately, I have to end this blog on a sad note. Our cat, Kismet, passed away on Jan. 29. She was 17 1/2, and we loved her dearly. I wrote so many of my past blog entries with her purring behind the PC monitor or tucked up against my back. She had a long, healthy and privileged life. After a short illness, she died in her own home after an evening by the fire.

The house isn't the same without her.








Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Jan. 19: Southern Devil's Food Cake

Okay, so this is really embarrassing. My cake is leaning. And it looks like it's going bald.

But all things considered, I think I prefer baking cakes over cookies. Don't get me wrong: I like to bake cookies. And other people like to eat cookies. And I like to please people. But there are some things about cakes that I find more appealing:

1. The ta-da! factor is greater. Cookies tend to disappear as soon as they come out of the oven, which leaves you with little visual return on your effort. Paradoxically, if they don't disappear, you have a jar full of cookies that no one will eat. Which is depressing. But a just-frosted cake is impressive to behold, no matter what it tastes like.

2. The accessories are more fun. Ever heard of a "cookie tester"? Or a "cookie decorating turntable"? I rest my case.

3. Cakes take less time. Okay, the overall time investment may be equal or greater, but you're not chained to the oven, watching the timer. And you pour the batter just once instead of 30 times.

4. Frosting a cake is suspenseful, kind of like an architectural project. "Will it stand without falling down?" Like legos with sugar and butter. It has its risks, but the rewards can be thrilling and surprising.

My first cake for this year was a Southern Devil's Food Cake (Fine Cooking, #103). My judges--Linda, Aubrey and Beth (aka, the Regence Web team)--gave it their thumbs up. I believe I even received an offer of marriage. Although Aubrey, my little vegetarian, gagged when I mentioned the 1/4 cup of mayonnaise. She kept saying to herself, "It's just eggs and oil, eggs and oil..."

The baking error I always make, though, is not reading the full recipe before starting a project. I usually end up with something like this revelation halfway through: "Let ganache frosting sit for 8 hours or overnight." WTF? I wanted it done TONIGHT!

That's how I ended up frosting this one at 7:30 this morning. Which may partially account for its rugged appearance. My goal this year: Get better at frosting.

But the part I'm most proud of? I'm blogging about it the same day!

It's 10 p.m., and the kids are in bed. James comes home Thursday, and I'm exhausted. My mind is full of questions and worries, as usual. But when I think about the things that occupy my mind these days, I'm embarrassed at--but grateful for--how mundane they are. How unimportant. Like worrying whether we can get all our vacant apartment rented. Or mulling over whether we should buy that Lexus or not (yes, yes, yes! no, no, no!). Or worrying about how badly my mother-in-law's new dog will trash the house in Palm Springs after James comes home.

Yes. She got a new dog. Stay tuned on that one.

There are much bigger worries in the world. I think about Haiti, and the Middle East, and people here in America who are jobless, homeless or carless. We have a place to live without fear of eviction. As a landlord, I've often wondered if we could donate one unit to a charity for a homeless family or battered mother with kids. Maybe someday. And if the new dog trashes the house, we'll have the carpets cleaned (but Wilma is paying for it). Finally, my car is perfectly fine (albeit high in miles, and those new RX 350s are awfully sweet).

Maybe the little worries are just distractions from the big ones. I'm really not as shallow as this blog may lead you to believe. It's art, people! Pixels, pastries and art!

And, honestly, I like picturing myself jetting around town in a black Lexus. Or the gold one. Or the blue one. Or the titanium silver one...

But I digress.

We were talking about worrying. Worrying is just a more anxious form of thinking. And my mind rarely rests. It's always gnawing on something, or planning something, or worrying, or considering, or imagining, or replaying or freaking out. Usually freaking out. And fantasizing. Can't forget about my rich fantasy life. I should write a book.

But again, I digress.

When the world is in chaos and little is settled or within your control, it's comforting to focus on one thing you can actually accomplish--even if that something's just a pretty cake that sits nicely on its specialty platter.

"Ta da! It's done! I hope you like it."

Even if it's not quite perfect.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dec. 23, 2009: Chocolate Malt Sandwiches

This is getting ridiculous. I'm worrying that someone will come and take my blog license away (I wonder if the blog police are related to the port-a-potty police).

I have no excuses. And you don't want to hear that same old story that I've been busy.

But I've been busy.

It's January at long last. Christmas is OVER! I did bake Chocolate Malt Sandwiches on Dec. 23. All my big goals of making five or six kinds of Christmas cookies? HA! Seems reasonable...in JULY. I pulled off the one batch at the last second--partly for Santa and partly for neighbor Rob who earned a plate of his favorites by complimenting my boots.

That's booTs for those of you who read too quickly.

Christmas was the usual blur of hither and thither. By the time we hit Aunt Cheryl's place Christmas afternoon, I announced our arrival with a demand for my Christmas martini: "Make it pink and keep 'em coming."

Merry Christmas! Pass the vodka.

Actually, it was a lovely holiday. The boys had fun. The company was always excellent. And it didn't snow. A success in my book.

Dec. 26 was a blur of packing, cleaning and de-decking of halls. Then we headed for the desert.

Ah, the desert in winter: Our furnace broke, our landlines failed and the pool light blew the bathroom circuits. But it was a good time. We made some new friends, shopped, repaired things and worked in the yard. Digging in the dirt in January was a little odd, but I got used to it.

We also did the Disneyland thing. More on that later.

And now we're home. James is still in the desert minding his mother, fixing things and golfing with tiny Korean women who, it seems, have excellent short games.

The boys and I have been home for a week. They're fighting, I'm yelling and the house is a disaster. Oh, and we're babysitting Wilma's cockatiel, Turkey Dinner, who, it turns out, screeches uncontrollably at about 11:30 p.m. if you don't cover his cage at bedtime. And many times each day, I think about this blog.

I also thought of my blog on Dec. 29, which was the blog's first anniversary. I was not blogging on that day. I am lame.

And I thought of it on Jan. 1, which would have been the first official day of my 2010 blog. I was not blogging. I am lame.

But I was in Disneyland on Jan. 1! I rang in the new year in bed at the Grand Californian Hotel, waking up in the dark thinking, "God, what was that noise?! Oh. Yeah. New Years. Fireworks. God. Be quiet."

It had been a long day.

But the end of 2009 and the start of 2010 did offer some valuable lessons:

1. When staying at the Magic Kingdom, do not leave the Kingdom. For any reason. Case in point, our trip to the Buena Park Claim Jumper on Dec. 31. We chose not to eat in the Kingdom. We were punished when Ian, after choking on a too-large piece of tri-tip steak, proceeded to vomit on his plate. Repeatedly. In a crowded restaurant. Until his stomach was empty. Claim Jumper was fabulous about it and Ian got a free ice cream sundae and onion rings to go. We learned our lesson and ate every meal in the Kingdom after that.
2. Real Mexican restaurants don't serve chimichangas.
3. When replacing underwater pool lights, it's good to drain the pool first.
4. Charge the portable DVD player before leaving for the airport. Especially when traveling with children.
5. Always cut a child's steak into very small pieces.

And yes. I did say in my last blog that 2010 would be the year of cakes. I fully intend to bake some fabulous cakes this year. I even went out and bought a big glass domed cake plate at Williams-Sonoma last week. I'm preparing, you see. And I bought a springform cake pan. And a fancy Williams-Sonoma rectangular cake pan...and a crepe kit....

But I digress. More on my kitchen-shopping orgy next time.

I'll try to get to the first cake this weekend. And I will keep plugging through the cookies. I haven't counted how many of the 42 I managed to make last year. I figure the actual count would just be depressingly low.

For now, I leave you with an image of Ian on his first trip to Disneyland. If I've been busy and haven't baked or blogged for awhile, you can see there was a very good reason for it.

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Umbrella Sugar Cookies: Dec. 5

Lame, lame, lame. I baked cookies on Dec. 5 and I'm just now posting this?

Tick, tick, tick....

That's the sound of December ticking away.

And this is a photo of my Grandpa Elmer's favorite clock. It hung in his den for years and years. Every Christmas Eve my sisters and I were banished to his den while the women washed dinner dishes. (My grandparents' 1930s house, while charming, didn't have many modern conveniences, like a dishwasher.) And while we waited impatiently to open presents, we watched this clock.

Now it hangs in my family room, and when I look at it I think about those Christmas Eves. I remember my sisters and me in our tights and Christmas dresses, hair all curled, so excited for CHRISTMAS!

Now that clock whispers to me, "You're running out of time! It's not all done!"

What a difference 30 years makes.

Those Decembers dragged by. These days, they're on a nuclear train going 750mph. It's been a busy month.

I baked cookies on Dec. 5 for my friend Shauna's baby shower. I learned something important that day: I hate meringue frosting. That shit leaked out of the pastry bag. It was runny. And it dried in a nasty, sticky mess all over me. And the counter. And the floor. And the cookies weren't nearly as cute as the photos in the book. Instead of umbrella details, I ended up with a blurry mess. But they tasted good and the shower was fun. So whatever.

I can say this about December 2009: It hasn't snowed. Too much. Thank. God. James and I actually sat out on the back porch tonight, and I realized I was barefoot and NOT freezing. Freaky. I keep thinking about last winter and how f&*^#@ that was. Shiver.

I'm close to being done with shopping. Just a few last-minute things. I'm ashamed to admit, though, that I didn't bake for the preschool bake sale. I contributed $4o for the raffle prize and seed money. Can you believe that? Kiki the Cookie Blogger paid off the preschool to avoid baking.

Okay, so I wasn't avoiding. I was busy. Too busy to bake. I got a lot to do, man! Geez. Get off my back.

But I think--hope--I'm in the home stretch. I actually went to a party tonight. With grown-ups. I ate good food and drank beer. I had to leave early because that's just how it often is with me. And, unless Jamey the Proxy barters my white elephant gift for something else, I'll end up with a High School Musical alarm clock.

On second thought, maybe "grown-ups" is stretching it a bit. Check out Girlfriend Linda in her party garb, posing in the Regence stairwell tonight. And this is before the alcohol. (And yes, those are lights.)

Got a lot to do still before December is over. There's the holiday craziness. And a flight to Palm Springs. And a trip to Disneyland, where we'll welcome in the new year. Tomorrow James and I go shopping for a new car (pray for me). And when I come home in January, James will stay in Palm Springs for a month. I'll be the Single Mom for a while.

You're probably wondering, dear reader, what will become of this blog when December is done. When the year is over, is my cookie project complete?

Are you out of your mind? Do you really think I baked all 42 recipes?

The clock is ticking away. There are still Christmas cookies to bake!

Oh, and I've decided: 2010 will be the Year of the Cake!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Nov. 28: Mint Chocolate Sandwiches

Looking back over November, I feel like a cookie/blogger failure. I baked ONCE last month. Do I get a pass for having hosted Thanksgiving dinner?

One brined turkey, two pumkin pies, a double batch of stuffing, one sweet potato casserole, 12 popovers, six pounds of potatoes, one pan of gravy and three kinds of appetizers. God, is that all? Seemed like so much more.

November was a busy month.

First off, the high point of November (after the Girlfriends Trip) was the return of the Pilgrim Family. For those of you who don't know: The Pilgrim Family is a very large (and, ah hem, tacky) Thanksgiving decoration that my mother-in-law paid too much for and then bestowed upon me in 2004 after it had suffered through several years of display and storage (and breakage) at her house. My good friend Denise decided it was HORRIBLE. So, of course, James and I left it on her front porch Thanksgiving Eve of 2004. With a "Will work for turkey" sign around Mr. Pilgrim's neck.

The Pilgrim Family has bounced between the Phillips and Higgins homes ever since, arriving each year on Thanksgiving Eve (usually in the dead of night) and always featuring a new and more original form of Pilgrim Desecration. This year it was our turn to get them back. They came bearing a political message--a reminder of the October night that Christian and I decorated Denise's front yard with political signs. (Not just any political signs, but signs for a candidate whose name was hilariously similar to Denise's name.)

Anyway, the Pilgrims are back with us now. Gotta remember to stuff them in storage for another year.

Also, I'm glad to report that I did NOT get laid off. But friends of mine did. And as a result, I now have a new boss. They start off so fresh and eager. It's a shame how we break them.

As I sit here typing (while my Farmville avatar plows my fields, multi-tasker that I am), I'm trying to think of the other things that happened over the past few weeks. But all I can think about is what lies ahead:

1. Baby shower on Sunday. I'm the hostess. That's five days away. I have a menu scratched down on a piece of paper. Oh, and I bought a gift. Yes, I'm a loser.
2. Christmas. Or as I prefer to think of it, Yule/Solstice/Midwinter. I'm in full-on shopping mode. Lists, lists, lists. Haven't started freaking out yet. That will occur about Dec. 16.
3. Which brings me to Dec. 16: The preschool bake sale. Which I'm coordinating. Ooh. I see a major cookie make-up opportunity. Get prepared for blog overload.
4. Palm Springs: Taking the kids for a week. After Christmas. With husband. And mother-in-law. And mother-in-law's dog. (Note: Refill Xanax prescription.)
5. Christmas decorating: How much to do this year? Leaving on Dec. 27. No stomach for ribbons and bows and sugarplums when we return in January. Thinking minimum is the word here. Lights on the ficus?
6. Snow. Hate it. Fear it. Dread it. See first entry nearly one year ago. It can seriously f%^& up items 1-4 above.

So, weren't we talking about cookies at some point? On Saturday I baked Chocolate Mint Sandwiches (pg. 284). The best thing about this recipe was that I only needed two ingredients at the store. They weren't great. Didn't love them. Boys are not fans of the mint. But the minty filling smelled soooo good. Like a Frango factory. Otherwise, so-so.

Mmmm. Frangos. 'Tis the season. I should buy some Frangos. I could put that on my iList. Which is only one of the features I LOVE on my new iPhone! And iLove to think of ways to twist the name: iCan. iRemember. iLookitUp. iCheckFacebookattheOffice. iDon't care if Apple takes over the world. Just think of how organized and prepared and efficient we'll all be.

Now. If I could just remember to put "bake cookies" in my iCalendar...