Holy Crap it's April

Shhhhh. I’m writing this at work.

And I know. You haven’t heard from me in months. I’ve sunk to the lowest levels of lameness. In fact, to rise to the level of just plain lame would be an improvement.

I have baked a cake in the past two months. In fact, I’ve baked two. But I have no excuse for not blogging. It's been so long, blogspot.com is no longer in my recent browser history. I'm surprised I remembered my password.

I know. You’ve heard it all before. So I’ll just jump into it.

The Red Velvet Cake (Rose’s Heavenly Cakes) tasted really good. Light, rich, moist. If the entire tube of red food coloring didn’t make it a 9 x 9” carcinogen, I’d make it again. Although, it did sink a bit in the middle. Which was embarrassing. I don’t know who I think I’m out to impress. My family didn’t care what it looked like. And despite the big sag, it sure was a purty color red.

For cake #2, I baked a honey-almond cake for Easter. But that wasn’t from Rose’s book. So that’s all I’ll say about that.

I do, however, want to mention that my blog has actually been used for baking support! Holy cow. Even I was shocked. Cousin Tina was baking Martha Stewart’s peanut butter cookies recently and thought that the baking time shown in the recipe was kind of long. So she thought “I’ll check the blog!” Sure enough, she found what she was looking for. My blog has provided a service. I’m humbled.

So, what, you may be asking yourself, has Kiki been up to lately? If she hasn’t been baking (much) or blogging (at all), what has been keeping her busy? I won’t bore you with the details. Not to mention I probably couldn’t remember everything if I tried. But I can hit the high points by touching on a few things I’ve learned in the past couple of months:

1. If a car wheel makes a spinning metal sound that gets worse over time, it’s probably best to stop driving it before the wheel falls off.
2. “Polyclitoral” is not a word after all. And when you Google it, it’s best to do so at home, not at work.
3. Don’t leave your iPhone sitting around the office when you’re not there. You coworkers will use it. And take photos of themselves with it.

But mostly I want to hit some of the high points of the past few months. Favorite moments, if you please:

1. Al meeting Dave Matthews at Greenlake! OMG! WTH? Where was I??? Okay, so the fact that I haven't actually BEEN to Greenlake in about 15 years is irrelevant. I deserve to meet Dave. Although, most of you know that I'm such a wimp that I probably would have turned and ran.

2. Palm Springs with Sam. So. Much. Fun! Shopping; ridiculing others; sharing iPhone apps with Dad; mocking The Bachelor; trying on 4-inch-stiletto, size-11 tranny heels; cleaning the house; getting stripper nails...oh. And our infamous afternoon jog in 90-degree weather. Sam ended up getting foot surgery (unrelated situation) and I decided to keep my running to the indoors. But we are two hot, running babes. Just ask the Palm Desert Country Club gardening crews.

3. Getting raunchy photos on the iPhone. I swear I'm maturing backward. (And no, I'm posting these on the blog. Sorry. You'll have to call me about those.)

4. Watching SNL with my children and husband on Sunday mornings. Ian can quote Weekend Update (just ask him about Tiger Woods' car accident).

5. Having Denise working next to me for two months. It was like old times! Tossing word meanings back and forth, consulting on grammar and style, shopping, lunching, researching the meanings of disgusting sexual acts. It's been such a treat. Ah, but now she's off to work for MultiCare in Tacoma. In a "business professional" environment. I bet there are no crank calls at MultiCare. I bet no one changes their clothes in their cubes there! I bet MultiCare employees don't relive the Schwetty Balls routine from SNL before lunch. How much fun could that possibly be? But in all sincerity, congratulations to Denise! I'm happy for her. And now it's back to changing my clothes without someone to guard the aisle. Sigh.

So, now I need to research my next cake. I'm contemplating a coconut cake that is so complicated that I'd need to make two separate, special ingredients for the frosting. That's four recipes for one cake (batter, frosting and two frosting components). Is that crazy? I've found that cakes are a big investment. What if I screw it up? That's a lot of dessert to toss in the garbage.

Maybe I have baker's anxiety. Which leads to writer's block. And that's not good for this blog. I enjoy writing these entries. I enjoy writing. Why don't I do it more often?

I'm going to think about that. Think about baking a cake. And I'll get back to you on that. I promise.